Is it selfish to just want to paint?

I've had a moment.  

Considering what placement I want to take has made me really think about what I want to do after university.

When I scribble out mind maps to find themes in my work there are two very clear paths.  One is around accessibility to Art, the representation of Staffordshire Artists and of social mobility, and this makes me want to set up exhibitions and promote Art in Stoke on Trent.  

I want Staffordshire to have an identity outside of locals using "duck" as a term of endearment and pop banks (Yes I did say pop banks, I'm from Longton- They may be pot banks but not if you listen to the locals. )  

I want investment.  Where's our Art Scene? 

Taking the other path, I reflect on my previous career in social housing, balanced against my personal need to create Art. Have I already done enough?  Can I relax into my own practice now and focus my energy on building my own skills and profile? Is that selfish?

Following the recent Staffordshire University Art Exhibition that I worked with peer student,  to archive, curate and invigilate, I've also had a conversation with the lead academic. They point out that to continue working with this project would be a great placement.  A prospect that really interests me and several ideas about its future immediately spring to mind.

So, in the next Placement Module meeting I talk about my feelings.  I'm a bit "all or nothing" personally.  For me, choosing the right placement felt like I was leaning into one career path or another.  Actually, I'm sticking to the concept that I can have my cake and eat it.  I'll choose my placement based on what I'll enjoy, skills that I can bring to and build on, and what will work best for the module criteria, but it doesn't mean I have to put down the other things. They won't just evaporate and become unavailable to me; (Daft really. No one ever said that this would be the case.  Funny where your thoughts lead you.  I've had a stern word with myself! )

And.. just to make the decision easier, my placement academic has thrown another couple of research project options into the mix - that sound equally great to be able to get your teeth into.

So, I'm off to go through my list of professional "to do's" so that I'm ready to start my Art CV.   I'm happy that it'll contain lots of potentially different things while I mull over which placement I'm going to run with and what I'll just work on alongside potentially.

Happy days.  As a very astute lady I once worked with said "It's good to have choices."